earthdoglife

The Ways We Remember the Dogs We Love

2026-07-23T18:21:18-05:00

Dogs have been part of my life for as long as I can remember, which means loss has been part of it too. With the number of dogs we've shared our home with over the years, we've learned that loving a lot of dogs also means saying goodbye far more often than we'd like. I could write for pages about preparing for loss or learning to live with it, but that isn't really where I want to focus.

What I'd like to talk about instead is the ways we choose to remember them.

Instead, I'd like to talk about memorializing our pets in a meaningful way that allows us to hold onto the beautiful, joyful memories. I think that looks a little different for everyone. What feels meaningful for one person may be completely different for someone else, and I don't believe there's a right or wrong way to remember a dog you loved.

Our Family Memorial

We've always chosen private cremation. In the beginning I wanted a special urn for every dog, but over time that simply wasn't sustainable. Many years ago we had a custom family urn made that holds everyone together. It sits in our family room, and to me, having their ashes there feels like they've come home.

For some people, a memorial might be an urn. For someone else it might be a favorite photograph, a paw print, a garden stone, or a tree planted in their dog's honor. The object itself isn't what's important. It's what it represents.

Why Their Collars Matter So Much

The other thing that's incredibly important to me, and honestly the most important, is their collar.

Collars have always meant more to me than something a dog wears. They reflect personality. They say someone belongs and that they're loved. We literally started a collar company because of the place collars hold in my life.

When we lose a dog, their collar becomes the one tangible thing I can still hold. I can't begin to describe the comfort that brings.

Years ago I had the idea of creating a family totem pole to hold their collars. When a tree fell in our yard and left behind the perfect trunk, that idea became reality. Today it stands in our home as a reminder of every dog who has shared our lives.

It's probably the most meaningful memorial we have.

There Isn't One Right Way to Remember

I know those are unusual solutions, and they're probably only practical for people with large packs like ours. But the idea behind them is universal.

Whether it's ashes, an urn, a favorite photo, a collar, or something entirely different, I think memorials help us stay connected to the ones we loved so deeply and never get to keep long enough.

Memorials aren't about holding onto grief. They're about holding onto love. They give us a place for our memories to live, especially on the days we miss them the most.

Looking Ahead

For quite a while I've wanted earthdog to create something for this chapter of life. Something that brings together the pieces that have meant so much to me over the years.

I think we're getting close, and I hope it becomes something that offers comfort while also celebrating a life that was full of joy. But before I get ahead of myself, I'd love to hear from you.

Would something like this be meaningful to you? How have you chosen to remember the pets you've loved? If there's interest, I'd be happy to share more about the memorials we've created over the years and the small traditions that have helped us find light when it didn't seem possible.

Nothing takes away the pain or loneliness of losing them. But when you're ready, the memories have a remarkable way of bringing them back into your heart.

Every memorial tells a story. If you'd like to share yours, please leave a comment below. I'd love to hear how you've chosen to remember the pets you've loved.

I'd love to hear your thoughts.

Meet Luka

2026-07-02T17:05:30-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet luka

Luka came to us about 3 months ago so he’s a fairly new addition. He is a blind, likely lab mix who was tossed around quite a bit before making his way here and he has some healing to do before we can call him settled. He’s got some issues with separation anxiety and a bit of aggression. These aren’t new issues to us, and we’ve dealt with both many times before so we firmly believe when we look back a year from now we’ll have forgotten all about this introductory period.

Luka is incredibly sweet and loving and is within inches of Dave 24/7 (unless Dave’s out, then he’s attached to me) but once he gets his confidence I think that’ll let up a bit. He’s playful and fun and we’re looking forward to the day that he overcomes his past and just gets to relax and be comfortable.

Luka has a dry coat and short hair and right now is easy on collars (that might change as he gets more relaxed and plays more freely) so our decorative adjustable collars are a good choice.

Shop luka's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Luka’s wearing our Flanagan pattern in our adjustable collar and it’s a great fit for him. We’ll likely move him to a breakaway in the coming months as he begins to play more.

Meet Izzard

2026-06-29T16:22:00-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet izzard

I’m going to start with Iz facts: according to DNA he’s a poodle mixed with so much. He was born deaf and sight challenged (blind in one eye and limited in other) and has epilepsy so he’d be classified as special needs.

What those facts don’t tell you is that Iz is an absolute delight, amazing beyond words and I loved him at first sight. He has literally saved my life since losing Jack. He’s incredibly loving, sweet and just so much fun...he's got personality to spare. He’s never met a stranger, be it person or animal, and will play with anyone/anything. He’s truly just one of those great, unflappable, well behaved dogs that is a literal dream to have in your life. He’s really well regulated and is up for a great time whenever you are and also always up for relaxing if that’s what you prefer. At 2 years of age I already know he'll go down in history as one of this family’s greatest all around dogs. He is adored by all.

Iz wears our adjustable collar in the limited drop "that’s bananas" pattern. His hair is dry (but does mat) but he does play a lot so I’d say he's a light-medium use case (although his collar clearly needs a washing).

Shop izzard's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Iz does play a lot with a wide range of dogs so he should be in a breakaway collar which has needed to happen for a while but, again, shoemaker’s kid syndrome is real. He was our first test case for the breakaways and the speed with which they came off inspired our patent pending Velcro system.?

Meet Cato

2026-06-19T14:05:39-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet cato

Cato came to us a few months after we lost Forrest from a family that could no longer care for him. We’re always grateful when people choose to do what’s best for their dog(s) and that includes knowing when you can’t provide for them. I’m an Irish Wolfhound fan 'til death and I’ve never been disappointed.

Cato took a bit of time to settle in here (we’re a lot and he was used to sharing his life with one small dog) but once he did, he did. He’s incredibly loving (he loves family and strangers alike), incredibly chill and just a character. His favorite thing is food – like any kind of food but all of it that he can get. As soon as he finishes breakfast he’s ready for lunch, and so on and so on.

I think the best way to illustrate Cato and his being is by way of Ira. Ira (blind and deaf) seeks him out whenever he’s ready to rest and will sidle right up to him and lay down as close as possible. We have picture after picture of Ira cuddled up to Cato. If having the sweetest being in the universe drawn to you (and only you) time and time again doesn’t prove Cato’s essence I don’t know what can. He’s very special and very loved.

Cato wears our decorative hemp adjustable collar in Murray. His long hair and pretty slow lifestyle means he’s very easy on collars.

Shop Cato's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Cato’s coat is long and dry and he’s very low maintenance so our decorative adjustable collars are a great choice for him. This is his original collar so it’s about 3 years old.

Meet Auggie

2026-06-09T18:09:53-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet auggie

A few years ago after a string of very heavy, unexpected losses Dave & I looked around and couldn’t figure out how we ended up with mostly small dogs - it was truly an about face from where we started. Shortly after the realization Auggie popped up in our social feed from our favorite rescue, Snooty Giggles. Dave immediately contacted Shawn (the head of the rescue) and was told that someone was going to evaluate Auggie the following day to see if he would make a good service dog but if that didn’t work out we could pick him up. We picked him up the next day and that’s all that needs to be said about his assessment.?

Auggie is a bruiser, one of the softest beings you will come across, incredibly sweet, incredibly loving and like a bull in a china shop. He fancies himself an avid hunter but it’s a lot of action for no payoff (which we appreciate). He scares the bejinkles out of passerbys with his looks and his deep bark but the joke's on them because his DNA revealed that he is mostly golden retriever and would likely just lick intruders to death. He is truly a gem and a lovable goofball.

Auggie wears our Seamus-1 decorative adjustable collar with a custom id tag and he’s pretty easy on collars. This is his original collar so he's been wearing it for 3 years.

Shop Auggie's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Auggie’s coat is really dry and silky so he’s only hard on collars in that he’s incredibly active and is always charging quickly through wooded areas. We do need to be able to grab him and handle him (bull in china shop as I said) so he’s in our decorative adjustable collar and it’s been a great match for him.

Meet ira

2026-06-02T15:05:00-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet ira

Ira is completely blind & deaf and i’m not exaggerating when i say living with him is being in the presence of greatness. He is an absolute delight to share life with. When we adopted him there was a lot of trepidation regarding him navigating this house. Our house is a lot; there’s a pond, a pool surrounded by rock, rock walls and just a ton of stuff in our house (I’m a proud maximalist). I cannot even begin to describe how relatively effortlessly he acclimated, how quickly he mapped the house and property and just how self-sufficient he is. He’s also loving, trusting, fun, an avid swimmer & truly just a joy. He’s really connected to his family and also somewhat of a loner while still remaining part of the family dynamic. His downsides are he was not blessed with good hair, it mats like crazy, and he also doesn’t allow you to do much to him (unless he’s in water or has water running over him…it’s the only way to get ear meds in him, cut mats, etc). Because of both of those downsides about two to three times a year we have to sedate him and shave him down but somehow he ends up looking adorable. He is truly a gem.

Ira wears a decorative adjustable collar in an old style, Murray. He’s pretty easy on collars beyond swimming a ton in the summer.

Shop Ira's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). A decorative adjustable collar is a good choice for him since he’s not a big player and his coat is fairly dry so he’s pretty easy on collars. The only true wear is a ton of swimming in the summer in natural water (no chlorine).?

our discontinued Murray pattern can be made as a special order

Meet noonan

2026-05-28T18:00:40-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet noonan

When Noonan came into rescue with Snooty Giggles, Dave fell in love with him at first sight and there was little question he would be a foster failure. He has two qualities that he excels at: being sweet and being loud (like really loud). We did his DNA and he’s got a good bit of husky in him and I think it all went to his vocal cords. He honestly likely gets the award for the sweetest dog this family has ever had (I think he and Phineus should share it). He’s sweet, tolerant, loving, goofy, playful and so loud (like really loud). He’s usually any newbie’s first friend and the first dog they play with so he’s really just exuding love and patience all the time.

Noonan is wearing a Kody-III breakaway collar (I’m very selective who gets to carry the Kody legacy and Noonan is a good candidate). He has a pretty dry coat and it’s slightly long and protected so he’s pretty easy on a decorative collar.

Shop Noonan's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Noonan plays a lot with a variety of dogs so he’s the perfect candidate for a breakaway for peace of mind. I’m really proud of our breakaways, specifically the Velcro system we developed. Noonan’s buckle is opened very often but the Velcro has stayed connected so we haven’t lost his collar but know if he's in danger it will release.

Meet nigel

2026-05-21T17:46:46-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet Nigel

Nigel came to us in his second year of life because his original owners couldn’t handle his intractable ulcerative colitis and surrendered him to Snooty Giggles Rescue. He moves between having bloody diarrhea or vomiting and farting but nothing stops this dog and you would have absolutely no idea he feels bad (which he must). He swings widely between being a loving little gargoyle to an absolute crud of a dog with seemingly no in between. Fortunately (and unfortunately) his swings are quick and no one holds a grudge. Not all Frenchie's are made for pack life but Nigel adapted to it really easily and overcame his past quickly...he's adaptable and fun loving (most of the time). He’s gregarious, loving, a maker of fun sounds, a loud snorer and at times hateful all in an adorable Frenchie package.

Nigel wears our Fletcher collar with a heart patch and a name tag. Even though he’s short haired he’s pretty easy on collars and has had this one for a few years now.

Shop Nigel's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). He’s easy on collars and because we often have to pull him off other dogs (I said he was hateful, right) we keep him in a decorative adjustable collar so we can easily grab him.

Meet thurman

2026-05-12T14:12:52-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet Thurman

Thurman, Thurman, Thurman…this is a tough one to write because Thurman cannot be contained to a paragraph. The facts are that we got him as a puppy after he and his litter were found in the East TN woods and only a few survived Parvo. He is the dog that all our other dogs want to be…many of them have tried to, what i refer to as, “single white female” him. He is all that and more…fun, loving, aloof and just a character who is a delight to be around. He’s truly all Pyrenees: loving but knows when he’s had enough, our first alert system but don’t expect him to do anything about it and a perfect mix of action and rest all wrapped in a perfectly dreamy, spherical package. His tag says he’s made of feathers and dreams and I stand behind that statement 100%.

Thurman wears our decorative adjustable collar in Phineus-1 as an homage to our first Pyr, Phinny. He’s had this one his entire adulthood (he’s 8) because, again, shoemaker’s kid syndrome is real.

Shop Thurman's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary).Thurman’s coat is thiiiiick (really thick) and dry so other than hair wrapping around it he’s very easy on collars. His collar is generally buried in his thick hair so our adjustable collar works perfect for him.

Meet Fela

2026-05-07T16:16:39-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet Fela

Fela is our resident muppet and she’s as complicated as the best of them (not unlike her namesake, Nigerian musician/activist Fela Kuti). She’s loving, aloof, bitchy, athletic and a loaf all in one adorable, mercurial package. She fancies herself the enforcer exemplified by her policing other dogs. I’m not gonna lie, she’s very good at her job and when someone is doing something they shouldn’t I’m not above calling her to take care of it. I’m fairly certain she would be diagnosed with adhd. She’s a gear girl and loves her toys and much of the time she either has a toy in her mouth or she’s barking. We adopted her as a young puppy; she and Ella arrived here within a few days of each other and she’s been a bit lost since losing her big sis in Feb. She’s adored and fun to live life with.

Fela wears our discontinued Garcia-1 pattern and it's beautiful with her russet coloring. Her coat is truly perfect (not too dry or too oily) and that along with her longer coat around her neck means she's really easy on collars. She's been wearing this one for yeeears.

Shop Fela's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Fela is traditionally really easy on collars and she isn't much of a pack player so a decorative adjustable collar works great for her.

Meet Juice

2026-04-29T16:53:32-05:00

Our "meet the pack" series continues in the order of their adoption so let's...

Meet Juice

Juice was born with one of his back legs not attached and that didn’t work for his mother so he came into rescue very young. The plan was to wait to amputate the leg when he was a bit older but an infection pushed the issue so it was removed when he was about 6 weeks old and he came to us right after that. Juice is a character and I’m sure he firmly believes it’s his mother’s loss that she rejected him. He’s confident and smart and he does not suffer fools. For reasons that we cannot explain Dave & I are certain that Juice is the dog most likely to murder us. Besides us, his biggest fan is Thurman, who has adored him since we adopted Thurman and he loves nothing more than putting Juice’s whole head in his mouth…they’re a real pair.

Juice seems to end up being our collar tester much of the time; probably because he’s the hardest on collars due to his short hair, oils and his relationship with Thurman. We put a natural collar on him with one of our heart patches quite a while ago to see how the patches wear and found a) they wear great and b) Juice’s collar is also a great example of how well earthdog collars wash. See the video below to see the clean in action.

Shop Juice's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Because of Juice's short hair, oily coat and his play style his tends to get dirty really quick. It's probably time to switch him to a breakaway - what pattern would you choose for him?

Believe it or not, this is the same collar fresh out of the washer and dryer!

Meet Estelle

2026-04-08T16:27:58-05:00

Over the years we’ve shared parts of life with our pack, but we realized we’ve never really introduced them to you one by one. Each dog is completely different (obviously), and because of that, what they wear is different too. So we thought we’d start there with a weekly series: who they are, what makes them them, the collar they wear every day and why it works for their life.

So, with that said let's:

Meet Estelle

Estelle is the reigning matriarch of our family. She came into our life 13 years ago as a puppy, a rescue who had been thrown from a car and was left with limited vision and hearing (or that's why she was thrown from the car). Did that stop her or slow her down in any way? It did not. She's full of spirit, love and just a little bit of bitchiness. Strong in both spirit and body, she is a delightful little weirdo. An osteosarcoma diagnosis led to her front leg amputation a few months ago and [knock on wood] she's still completely unstoppable.

Estelle is outfitted in our limited Valentine's Day pattern because Kym loves it and it's looks beautiful on her. She isn't a pack player and at her age is much more sedentary so an adjustable collar with a quick release buckle is perfect for her.

Shop Estelle's collar here

Collars are photographed in their current, worn state (mileage may vary). Estelle has traditionally been really easy on collars. Her coat is short and on the dry side and she's not a big player so not a lot of wear and tear.

(if you want Estelle's exact collar as a special order just let us know)

for jack

2026-03-05T17:36:09-06:00

i don’t how to write this and at the same time i can’t believe i have to. we let my jack (punklet, butters, pumpkin pie) go last week and i can’t pretend that it hasn’t left me reeling. february was a particularly crappy month both personally and for my family and last week there was a lot going on so i was able to forge ahead on fumes and disassociation. now that life has calmed down a bit i’m having to face life without my jack and i absolutely hate it…zero stars.

i’ve talked about “heart” dogs on here before and i know i’ve been lucky to have a small handful that have fit that bill (although based on the number of dogs we’ve had it seems proportional). it’s not about loving them more or them being good or better dogs or really anything other than our hearts seem to speak the same language and there is an ease and familiarity when being with them. i adore all the dogs we’ve had and have had different relationships with all of them and yet when i think of tannhauser, kody, reilley, murray, raz and jack it feels like a totally different thing (and yet also exactly the same).

that little package came into our life 11 years ago (around age 4) and made his shape in my heart almost immediately. i was struggling from having lost murray earlier in the year and was desperate to find that specific/complex relationship again and somehow that led me to butters. he was not a fan of me at first but to be fair, having come from a chaotic meth house and dropped in this house is not the easiest transition. dave kept saying “he’ll be your best friend” to which i would reply “he’s my best friend but i’m never going to be his best friend.” somehow i eventually broke him down and we were inseparable for the rest of time. our future relationship did not look promising in our first photo together...

butters was in all the ways the very best of a terrier. he was fun and rotten and loving and a little hateful all wrapped up in a fantastically adorable package. he had some medical struggles likely stemming from his time in said meth house but he seemed to be thriving in his old age…until he wasn’t and things went bad fast. these are the things you can’t prepare for.

the one excruciatingly hard lesson i’ve learned from living with a pack of dogs is that there is no way to prepare, no way to make their passing easier, no way to not feel crushingly lonely once they’re gone, regardless of how many bodies are still around you. we had known for quite a while that we were on borrowed time with ella and that made it no easier when we let her go and on the other side there was no warning with jack and that was equally as devastating. at the same time i cannot express how grateful i always am that we are able to let them go with grace and dignity when they’re ready and that we have a vet who allows us to do it in the comfort of our home.

this is all over the place, which is representative of the state of my mind and heart right now. jack was my heart and i’m all at once grateful that he made his way into my life and heartbroken that his physical body is gone. sail on my sweet punklet…your shape will always be imprinted in my heart and i’m forever changed by your presence in my life. I’m going to try to be patient and trust the universe (with the help of my magical butters) will lead my heart to its next connection.

if you’ve ever had a heart dog you understand and, if you’re lucky enough to still have yours beside you tonight, give them some extra love for me.

gnome place like home...halloween part xvi

2025-10-30T23:25:49-05:00

happy halloween!

click here to enjoy the previous 15 years.

a magical halloween, part xv

2024-10-31T12:39:56-05:00

happy halloween!

click here to enjoy the previous 14 years.

1 costume 13 dogs, part xiv

2023-10-31T13:11:11-05:00

happy halloween!

click here to enjoy the previous 13 years.

this costume comes courtesy of our fabulous vet - if you've got a costume you want us to use send it on!

costume for all, part xiii

2022-10-31T13:50:00-05:00

happy halloween!

row 1: jack, juice, estelle, fela

row 2: alfie, ira, forrest, ellar

ow 3: nigel, noonan, odin, pow

row 4: raz, slater, thurman, zig

click here to enjoy the previous 12 years.

this costume comes courtesy of our fabulous vet - if you've got a costume you want us to use send it on!

1 costume for 16 dogs, part xii

2021-10-31T16:13:00-05:00

happy halloween!

row 1 (l to r): zig, thurman, speck, slater
row 2 (l to r): raz, pow, odin, noonan
row 3 (l to r): juice, jack, nigel, benny
row 4 (l to r): forrest, ella, estelle, fela

click here to enjoy the previous 11 years. everyone stay safe!

my psa for senior dog adoption

2021-07-14T15:15:00-05:00

short version: if given the opportunity adopt a senior dog

long version: two years ago (almost to the day) dave & i were on a rare beach vacation when i got a text from our favorite rescue coordinator (the rescue is our favorite as is the coordinator to clear up that adjective disagreement). from a person that rarely asks for anything was a text that said “i need a favor.” she had an 11-year-old dog she had adopted out as a puppy being returned because his person died and didn’t have any big dog fosters available. let me interject to implore you, if you can swing it, foster…even if only in the summer or at holidays as that’s when animals are at their most vulnerable with foster shortages. now back to the story; we of course said yes, as long as he’s good with other dogs, we’d be happy to foster.

at this point fostering is a bit of a rarity and a mixed bag for us. most importantly, obviously the dog has to like other dogs as we won’t put our dogs at risk or make them uncomfortable. the biggest point though, is if a dog comes in and is comfortable & seems to enjoy life here then we really don’t want to move them. why put them through more being the main reason. we’ve had fosters come through that just weren’t a good fit, either for them or us, and they move on to a better family for them. So that’s the thought process we went into with raz (the dog in need); if he’s comfortable he stays and if not he moves to a better house for him.

let me cut to the chase and just say that raz is one of the dogs my heart has been looking for… like a little piece of my heart is returning home. i love, adore even, every single one of our dogs and yet only a few of them hit the exact place my heart needs…like our hearts speak the same language. it’s a rare, beautiful, peaceful and necessary relationship for me and i count myself incredibly fortunate that i’ve had a bigger than most handful of these in my life.

raz is what i call a goddamn delight. he’s gentle, distinguished, loving, loyal and demanding and has the eyebrows of the very best old school nightly news broadcaster. he’s my guy and i’m so very, very thankful he came into my life. i hate that he lost his person and i can only hope that i’ve been some balm for his heart and i believe he knows how much i adore him. i know i won’t have him in my life for long but i would choose him over and over again no matter his age - you never know when a piece of your heart is going to come along. we knew nothing about raz, no picture, nothing, other than his age and name and we just said yes because if we can that’s what dave & i do and holy shiitake mushrooms i am so consciously grateful at least several times a week that we did. we’re making the most of our time together and regardless of what happens in the future i’ll always have that piece of my heart back and he’ll always be a part of me.

so to wrap up, don’t look past a senior dog. don’t consider how little time you’ll have…imagine what you could be giving up by not saying yes.

15 dogs 1 halloween costume, part xi

2020-10-30T20:49:00-05:00

happy halloween - here’s your treat:

row 1 (l to r): forrest, slater, pow
row 2 (l to r): benny, ella, estelle
row 3 (l to r): moose, zig, odin
row 4 (l to r): thurman, juice, fela
row 5 (l to r): speck, jack, raz

click here to enjoy the previous 10 years. everyone stay safe!

a pack of dogs in an ape costume, part X

2019-10-31T16:20:00-05:00

happy halloween everyone!

row 1 (l to r): odin, thurman, benny, speck

row 2 (l to r): fletcher

row 3 (l to r): pow, forrest, jack, slater

row 4 (l to r): juice, fela, estelle

row 5 (l to r): raz, ella, zig, moose

click here to enjoy the previous 9 years. hope you all have a wonderful night - stay safe!

this one's for you flanagan

2019-01-18T13:05:00-06:00

on monday we said goodbye to who i suspect will forever remain the most unique, magical creature we will ever have the pleasure of sharing our life with. flanagan was strong and full of life to the end but in the last month he was met with a cascade of orthopedic issues that were becoming increasingly hard for him to overcome and we believed it was time to let him move on.

i’ve written much about flanagan and his “special” needs, although i’d prefer to refer to them as his awesome needs, and you can read his posts here. he was deaf and what we referred to as autistic and he presented us with the challenge of working on the puzzle that was him and finding the best way to the most comfortable life for him. by the “puzzle” i mean there was a learning curve to his sensory issues; we had to first figure out what exactly was “bothering” him and then find an alternate route or solution as things popped up. this was never a negative and i want to make sure it isn’t perceived as such. i was more than happy to take on the challenge and i was rewarded with getting to love one of the most amazing creatures to walk this earth. he felt familiar to me, like if i could figure him out i would be figuring out myself in some way. somehow he was sweet and gentle in a boisterous way (figure that one out), he was complex, he was full of life and never had a bad day, and he was gorgeous in every way possible and i simply adored him.

as i’ve discussed previously, something changed after pinky’s amputation surgery and he allowed us to love him in a much different way. for the first time there was no time limit on touching, hugging or kissing and, holy shitake mushrooms did dave and i take advantage of that. he was met with 11 years of pent-up affection and he seemed to take it all in. he allowed things never before possible like weekly laser treatments and chiropractic adjustments with no reaction whatsoever. for all this i find myself oddly thankful for his cancer. i would gladly give up a few years with him to have him move on having allowed himself to be loved in a much more tangible way than ever before possible. life will not be the same without him and we are devastated but incredibly grateful for the gift he was in our life.

pinky has always been inspiring to me - he just was who he was...he made no apologies and never tried to be anything else. that might seem silly or make no sense but i trust if you spent any time with him you’d have seen it too. sail on my sweet pinky…

a pack of dogs in a halloween costume part IX

2018-10-31T16:15:00-05:00

happy halloween! another year, another pack photo...

row 1 (l to r): estelle, jack, juice

row 2 (l to r): pow, slater

row 3 (l to r): zig, fela, odin, flanagan

row 4 (l to r): speck, moose, fletcher

row 5 (l to r): ella, benny

this was ella's first halloween shoot and it was a bit overwhelming for her so her photo was taken in the safety of her crate.

enjoy the previous years. everyone stay safe and have fun!

he's a brand new man

2018-08-30T16:21:00-05:00

labor day marks 6 weeks since flanagan’s front leg amputation for osteosarcoma and i can honestly say i’m thrilled we decided to go ahead – at this point we’ve already gotten 6 weeks we wouldn’t have had. post-surgery there were 2-3 terrible days and a fairly poopy remainder of that week and then an okay week followed but since the third week pinky has been doing amazing. not only has he adapted like nothing happened but he’s actually calmer and more well-balanced which has been an unexpected benefit.

it’s as if part of his autism veil has been lifted. he’s much more accepting of love and actually seems to be enjoying being pet. he’s definitely more relaxed - he’s even allowing our vet to laser him weekly (not in the shower) which was impossible prior to surgery. i don’t know if it can be attributed to fearing for his life, if he had the realization that we’re going to do what he needs or if i just finally broke him down but i’ll tell you i’m here for it. i’ve gotten more kisses from him in the last 2 weeks than i have in his 11 years with us. i’ve laid with him (literally for the first time ever) and i’ve kissed and hugged the ever-loving heck out of him and he’s tolerated it all…and dare i say seemingly welcomed it. here’s (bad) photographic proof:

we had some stumbles in the beginning with pills. pinky hates pills but after surgery they were a necessity. we can’t put them on his food because he won’t eat a bite if there’s something foreign in his bowl and anything other than his actual food counts as foreign. he won’t take them wrapped in any delicacy…we tried everything. i had to just accept the fact that i was going to have to pry his mouth open, shove them down and get bit every.single.time. it was getting really painful and i hated doing it to him but then i stumbled upon another key to pinky’s brain. he hates his mouth being opened but doesn’t mind my hands in his mouth (i know, right...isn’t he just the greatest). now i just stand there, wait for him to open his mouth and stuff the pills right down with absolutely no fuss.

usually with osteosarcoma i would have implemented a whole holistic regimen, ie turmeric paste, black cumin seed oil, cbd oil, artemisinin, etc but that’s just not possible with flanagan and his specificities. there would be no way to get paste or oils down without daily battles and i can’t put him through that. i wasn’t incredibly comfortable doing nothing so did some further research and am placing some hope in sulforaphane since it comes in pill form, is safe and only needs to be given twice a day.

i’m so grateful for our vet and our decision to go ahead with the amputation. we have absolutely no regrets and feel confident it was the right choice for him. we’re hoping we get a lot more time with him and he gets time to let more love in.

and then there were 60

2018-07-27T20:16:00-05:00

we’re officially a house of 60 legs. on monday flanagan’s chest x-ray was negative and we proceeded with amputation. my intention is to show his recovery process in the hopes it may help someone who may be struggling with the same decision. we currently have ~~three~~four 3-legged dogs (zig, juice and moose and now flanagan makes 4) and have had three others in the past (kody, sage and mabel) so the decision to amputate was not as scary as i can imagine it is for people facing it for the first time. that’s not to say we made the decision lightly - we had to consider flan’s age (12), size (70 lbs) and his sensory issues but ultimately we believed it was the best option. neither dave nor i questioned the decision but there have been some heart wrenching and painful moments.

you know from my last post we planned on taking flanagan home as soon as surgery was finished. we stayed while he was sedated, found out his chest x-ray was clear and surgery was a go, went home and picked him up about 1-1/2 hours later as soon as he was extubated. the rest of monday was fairly shitty and heartbreaking and i strongly discourage anyone who wants to bring their dog home before he/she has fully recovered from anesthesia. the aftereffects of anesthesia can be a harrowing thing to watch your dog go through and they are much better off recovering under vet supervision. i knew what to expect and it was still hard and nothing i would do if flanagan didn’t absolutely require it. because dogs are absolutely amazing and pinky is nothing short of this he was up and around, albeit clumsily by the end of the day.

because of his past “drug use” managing his pain was a bit of a hurdle but by tues afternoon it seemed we had a cocktail that worked. he was being very vocal, whining a lot and since he tends to be fairly stoic with pain i attributed at least some of it to emotional pain…honestly sitting here writing this on friday, it seems like monday and tuesday were months ago. by wed morning he was more comfortable and confident, his pain and emotions seem more controlled and we were well down the road of recovery – he even figured out how to get on his favorite chair:

wed afternoon our vet came to laser his incision, back and hips, which he was amazingly calm for. yesterday and today he’s been pretty much back to his normal schedule, which is really important to him and hopefully will push him even farther down the healing road. today he even joined us on the morning walk, although he tired out much sooner (obviously).

while he was in the final throes of anesthesia i had to stop him from rolling off the mattress we had him on and i ended up with a pretty good bite on my arm (it’s really typical for this to happen coming out of anesthesia and another good reason they’re caged or muzzled during this time). every time i have to give him pills he bites me so my hands and arms have taken a beating. i tell you this not to bellyache but to give more insight into pinky’s brain (or so i think). when i try to pill him and he growls and bites it’s not because he’s aggressive, it’s because i’m doing something that he’s not sensorily prepared for. for instance last sun he had a bunch of burrs on him and i tried to brush him...i got one stroke in and he bit the brush and threw it to the ground. dave & i then put him in the tub and ran water over him and i brushed him in peace while he had this serene look on his face. it was just a beautiful moment because when you do it pinky’s way he rewards you ten-fold.

pinky has always been inspiring to me - he just is who he is...he makes no apologies and doesn’t try to be anything else. that might seem silly or make no sense but i trust if you spent any time with him you’d see it too. these last few days have solidified my awe of him exponentially. he is such an absolute treasure and i’m so happy to hold on to him for a bit longer.

here's a little video montage of his first few days...it's less than riveting but this is what 2-3 days post amputation looks like: